This came about when we found ourselves trapped — with plenty of time on our hands — in the Thanksgiving / New Year's Day holiday slot. The obvious thing to do — if you love movies — is to fill the time with as many movies as possible. And it's fun — really — if the films can all be hung around a theme.

So if you've got a block of time, want to watch some movies, but aren't sure how to proceed, check out our Pre-made Film Festivals. If this helps or if you have your own suggestions, send us an e-mail.

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Archie and Betty and Veronica

Is this the oldest plot on earth? Amiable but clueless Archie pursues rich and shallow Veronica while intelligent and appropriate (and blonde!) Betty waits and waits. Here's a festival's worth of prime examples:

In A Midsummer Night's Dream (by all means the rowdy 1935 Warners version), both Lysander (Archie) and Demetrius (Reggie) profess love for Hermia (Veronica) while Helena (Betty) pines away. This changes dramatically when Puck's (could this be Jughead?) machinations cause both young men to claim undying love for Helena and to soundly reject Hermia. All is sorted out and, in the end, everyone gets the someone they think they want.

In Footlight Parade, Cagney's Chester Kent plays Archie to a string of Veronicas — 1) nasty bitch ex-wife and 2) golddigging fiance — while Joan Blondell's long-suffering secretary (Betty, of course) waits and hopes.

Good News (the 1947 version is preferable) is a classic distillation of the plot. We have football star Tommy Marlowe pursuing stuck-up Pat McClellan while long-suffering Connie Lane waits and hopes. This also has the added benefit of two Jugheads (Bobby Turner and Danny NoLastName), a Midge (Babe Doolittle) in love with Jughead One but going with a very jealous Moose (Beef). By fadeout, everyone except Jughead Two (played by Mel Torme, the Velvet Fog hisself!) has paired up: Archie with Betty, Jughead One with Midge, and Moose(!) with Veronica.

Finally, we have the insanely over-the-top Starship Troopers. Johnny Rico (Archie) pursues Carmen Ibanez (Veronica as played by that living, breathing Veronica doll Denise Richards) while Dizzy Flores (Betty) waits, hopes, follows her man into the infantry, and even has a shower scene (often and incorrectly credited to Ms. Richards). Here again we have two Jugheads (Johnny's soldier buddy Ace Levy and school chum — now Gestapo officer — Carl Perkins) and a Reggie (pilot Zander Barcalow and rather an okay guy). Alas things don't turn out well for the Riverdale gang in this one: Archie and Veronica go their separate ways with no hint they will ever reconnect, Jughead One survives but who knows for how long, Jughead Two survives and flourishes in intelligence but will never find love, Betty and Reggie are offed by the bugs.


Citizen Kane Plus

A festival with one movie? Well, there's the film itself. And there's the documentary The Battle Over Citizen Kane. And there's the well-acted but only partially accurate, RKO 281.

The order in which you watch them might depend on your mood. If you're put off by the critical reputation of the 1941 original and just want to "eat your spinach and be done with it," schedule Kane first. If you admire Kane and Welles and want your festival to build to a crescendo, the melodramatic, kind-of-trashy (Brenda Blethyn as Louella Parsons!), but entertaining RKO 281 should start. Leave The Battle Over Citizen Kane in the middle.


Effective Low-budget Horror Films

"Effective" is the operative word and the means by which we eliminate most horror from this festival. What make low budget horror "effective"? Basically it requires actors, writers, and directors willing to treat the — often silly — material with respect, affection, humor, and imagination. And they all need to be working on the same film at the same time.

That stated, three films meet the criteria for inclusion in this festival: The Evil Dead, it's higher-but-still-low budget sequel/remake Evil Dead II: Dead by Dawn, and Re-Animator (from Lovecraft). Going a bit higher budget, we can add the sci-fi horror of Pitch Black, the gleeful remake of House on Haunted Hill, Final Destination a clever spin on the worn-out teenagers-in-peril plot, and From Dusk Till Dawn, an over-the-top killers-on-the-lam-battling-vampires comedy.

Viewing order is up to you although you should definitly schedule Evil Dead before the sequel/remake.


Favorite Character Actors

There's a wealth of great character actors — both in leads and in support — in films today, and what better hook to hang a festival on than personal favs.

Our favorite players — in no particular order — include (with recommended films in parens):

  • Jeff Daniels (the frustrated painter in Pleasantville, Joshua Chamberlain, the hero of Little Round Top, in Gettysburg, and even the partner of cop Keanu Reeves in Speed).
  • Jason Lee (the ex-skateboard champion who first attracted attention in Kevin Smith's Mallrats, the wonderful Chasing Amy, and Dogma, also excels in Heartbreakers and Almost Famous).
  • Jim Broadbent (can play subtle as in the Ian McKellen Richard III and Bridget Jones's Diary, or flamboyant as in Bullets Over Broadway, Topsy Turvy, and especially Moulin Rouge).
  • Joe Pantoliano (the always-grousing Cosmo, second to Tommy Lee Jones, in The Fugitive, the too-honest mob functionary in Bound, the whose-side-is-he-really-on cop in Memento, and Cypher in The Matrix).
  • Greg Kinnear (best at playing smarmy, self-involved types as in Nurse Betty and Mystery Men, also excels when playing against this type as in As Good As It Gets).
  • Ving Rhames (runs the gamut from intensely forbidding as in Pulp Fiction, to over-the-top-comic-book-crazy as in Con Air, to only-initially-forbidding as in Mission: Impossible and Dave, to grumpy-but-obviously-decent in Out of Sight).
  • J.T. Walsh (now sadly deceased, was best at portraying that kind of something-to-hide flabbiness seen in politicians, corporate fatcats, and other white collar criminals — like the mayor in Pleasantville, the Internal Affairs official in The Negotiator, and the bar owner with murder on his mind in Red Rock West).
  • John Cusack (his screen persona is modern, urban, quirky and can be seen to advantage in High Fidelity, Grosse Pointe Blank, Being John Malkovich, and even as a Woody Allen proxy in Bullets Over Broadway and as a federal agent in Con Air).
  • Joan Cusack (who often appears to advantage in her brother's films — High Fidelity and especially Grosse Pointe Blank — also does well as Kevin Kline's frustrated fiance in In and Out and as the intensely creepy wife of Tim Robbins in Arlington Road).
  • Jeremy Piven (long-time John Cusack friend, he is sometimes cast as just that — again see Grosse Pointe Blank — or as someone else's friend — as in The Family Man — but also don't miss his hysterical salesclerk cameo in Rush Hour 2).
  • Jeff Bridges (extremely versatile, he can depict the slovenly bowling slacker "The Dude" in The Big Lebowski, a manipulative bowling president in The Contender, and an in-over-his-head victim in Arlington Road).
  • Steve Buscemi (specializes in eccentric, borderline-scary characters — sometimes subtle as in Ghost World, sometimes over-the-top as in Fargo, and lately sending up the whole thing as in Con Air and Armageddon).
  • Janeane Garofalo (modern, urban, quirky; a female John Cusack — has been best in The Truth About Cats & Dogs, Mystery Men, and especially the charming fish-out-of-water comedy The Matchmaker).
  • Bruce Campbell (closely tied to director Sam Raimi, Campbell is the driving force which propels Evil Dead, Evil Dead II: Dead by Dawn, and Army of Darkness — also catch his wise-cracking reporter in the co-scripted-by-Raimi The Hudsucker Proxy).
  • Kevin Spacey (can play sympathetic as in the The Negotiator and the virus thriller Outbreak, smarmy/arrogant as in A Time to Kill and L.A. Confidental or psycho/cypher as in Seven and The Usual Suspects with equal conviction).
  • Tim Robbins (equally adept at portraying strength, weakness, quirkiness, and the most subtle of evil — The Shawshank Redemption, The Player, The Hudsucker Proxy, High Fidelity, Bob Roberts, and Arlington Road).
  • Philip Seymour Hoffman (often portrays characters engaged in intellectual pursuits or in an employee type of position — in Magnolia, The Big Lebowski, State and Main, and, best of all as Lester Bangs in Almost Famous).
  • William H. Macy (quiet resignation masking often-deeply-buried inner strength is a hallmark of Macy's performances — Pleasantville, Magnolia, Mystery Men, A Civil Action, and, for a comedic and hyper change of pace, State and Main).
  • Sam Elliot (with that magnificent mustache, he is decidedly non-urban and non-modern — see Gettysburg and Tombstone — but also appears to good effect as The Big Lebowski's on-screen narrator and, minus the moustache, as a pitbull of a presidental aide in The Contender).
  • Gene Hackman (a character star who often takes supporting roles and is equally at home in drama and in comedy — Get Shorty, Crimson Tide, Heartbreakers, Enemy of the State, Unforgiven, and Superman).
  • Morgan Freeman (another character star who often takes supporting roles and is equally intense but is also quieter and more subtle than Hackman — Seven, The Shawshank Redemption, Glory, Nurse Betty and Unforgiven (with Hackman).
  • Ed Harris (presents quiet authority in the service of good as in Apollo 13, personal ego as in The Truman Show, or evil as in The Rock).
  • Colin Firth (best at portraying traditional English reserve, subtle arrogance, or both as in Shakespeare in Love, as a splendid Mr. Darcy in the 1995 BBC production of Pride and Predjudice, and as Mr. Darcy again in the Jane Austen-like Bridget Jones's Diary).
Is it more than just coincidence that 10 of the 23 actors listed above have first names beginning with the letter "J"?


A Film Festival All By Itself

That would be The Phantom Empire. The world's first (and last) musical / sci-fi / western extravaganze, this 12 episode serial from 1935 stars Gene Autry and Betsy King Ross (who? the "World Champion Trick Rider," that's who). Featuring one-take acting, a villainess — Queen Tika of Murania — who gives our hero's name some class by pronouncing it "outre," and the tackiest robots ever. Perfect New Year's Eve viewing.


Films Set In Chicago or San Francisco

While New York may be the queen of all urban film settings, there is no end of excellent, even classic, films set in Chicago and San Francisco.

For Chicago, we recommend a nice mix of two thrillers and two comedies: The Fugitive, The Negotiator, the holiday-themed While You Were Sleeping, and the quirky John Cusack vehicle High Fidelity.

And for San Francisco, we go with five thrillers and one "not-sure-what": Bullitt (McQueen as icon...again), Hammett, After the Thin Man (second in the series and equal to the first), The Maltese Falcon (Bogart as icon for the very first time), and Hitchcock's freaky Vertigo (interesting how private eyes and police figure in all of these San Francisco thrillers and that three are related to Dashiell Hammett). The "not-sure-what" is San Francisco International, one of those thousands of flatly-lit cheapo TV movies Universal churned out in the 70s (which must be watched in all it's Mystery Science Theater 3000 glory).


Films Set In Enclosed Spaces

With the possible exception of an underground bunker, there's nothing quite so enclosed as a submarine.

For those without claustrophobic tendencies, we can recommend Crimson Tide, The Hunt for Red October, U-571, and, most enclosed of all, Das Boot.

Those who panic in the back seat of a compact car, had best stick to Red October (with its spacious, train-station-sized sets) and, perhaps add some moderately-enclosed train (The Lady Vanishes, Strangers on a Train, North by Northwest — Hitchcock loved trains) or bus (Speed, It Happened One Night) flicks.

You should also consider — or not — submarine-in-space movies like Alien, Volkswagen-in-space movies like Apollo 13, or the intensely claustrophobic undersea phone booth that is The Abyss.


Films With A Character Named Cross

What an odd idea for a festival but the movies here are good (well, two are good and the third is respectable). In order of release we have Chinatown with John Huston's folksy scumbag Noah Cross, The Stunt Man with Peter O'Toole's psycho film director Eli Cross, and Kiss the Girls with the great Morgan Freeman's dignified detective Alex Cross.


Films With A Character Named Mr. Smith

Well there's James Stewart as Mr. Smith in Mr. Smith Goes to Washington and there's Asta the dog as Mr. Smith in The Awful Truth. And you could include After the Thin Man because both James Stewart and Asta are featured (but neither play Mr. Smith).


Films With American In The Title

There are more than just the four listed here but these will do nicely. First up is the 1940's-style The American President. While still basking in the glow of that charming throw-back romance, take a deep breath and dive into American Movie, a documentary about low-budget, low-talent moviemakers trapped in Wisconsin that will have you questioning reality. If you survive American Movie, the last two selections — sweet teen comedies American Grafitti and American Pie — should bring you back down easy.


Great 1933 Warner Bros. Backstage Musicals

Warner Bros., a pioneer of sound, was also a relentless producer of early-talkie musicals. Some of their output — the enormously successful Gold Diggers of Broadway and the early-Technicolor On With the Show — hold up even today (well, actually Gold Diggers of Broadway is a lost film). But most (and this includes early-sound musicals from all studios) were static, uninvolving, and painful to watch. With the exception of Eddie Cantor's films — sold as comedies with a few songs — audiences by 1932 were sick of musicals and stayed away in droves.

This all changed in 1933 with the out-of-nowhere release of 42nd Street, and continued with Gold Diggers of 1933 and Footlight Parade. While all three are similar in structure and all benefit from the Warner pacing and stock company acting, they are different in tone: 42nd Street is melodramatic, gritty, cheap, and smutty (typical early-sound Warner Bros. programmer), Gold Diggers of 1933 — a remake of Gold Diggers of Broadway — is a high society/working class, mistaken-identity comedy (possibly a forerunner of screwball but filtered through the non-screwball Warner sensibility), and Footlight Parade, a rowdy Cagney star vehicle, is rather chaste and innocent (looking ahead to the 1934 production code?).

Watch them in release order and witness — as budgets increased — the evolution of Busby Berkeley's style. And be sure to keep an eye open for the enormous number of continuity errors in Footlight Parade.

It's not 1933, Warners, or a backstager, but if you want to expand your festival a bit try adding the glorious mess that is Hollywood Party. Running only 70 minutes, this prime example of tinseltown excess was to have been another of those MGM "More Stars Than There Are in the Heavens" revues. It didn't work: the stars stayed away from this party, at least three directors were used and tossed aside (no director is credited but it is rumored that tough guy Raoul Walsh was one of them), and the Rogers & Hart(!) score was mostly junked. Why include this? Well the whole thing is Warner-like in it's pacing, it includes a prime Laurel & Hardy gag involving hard-boiled eggs and Lupe Velez, it has some good tunes and snazzy production numbers, early-Technicolor fans get a bizarre Disney cartoon, cinematography fans can marvel at the artistry of James Wong Howe... And besides, the whole thing is just too, too surreal.


Great Sequences

A festival of great set pieces can be a lot of upfront work but is infinitely rewarding. We recommend you pass on the usual "greatest hits" like Ben-Hur's chariot race, Gene Kelly's romp through the puddles in Singin' in the Rain, or the high-octane Steve McQueen chases in Bullitt and The Great Escape.

For sheer dramatic effect, try the St. Crispin's Day speech from Branagh's Henry V, Chamberlain's defense of Little Round Top in Gettysburg, the astonishing crane shot that is the attack on the casino in The Longest Day, and Jezebel's ball sequence with that scandalous red dress.

Musical fans will appreciate two numbers from two versions of Good News: the first being Dorothy McNulty's extremely pre-code (i.e., smutty) rendition of "The Varsity Drag" (from the 1930 version), and dynamo Joan McCracken's "Pass That Peace Pipe" (from — and written for — the 1947 version). Add to that the Bert Wheeler/Dorothy Lee rendition of "Sweetheart We Need Each Other" from the antique (1929) Rio Rita. Despite it's primitive early-sound technique and it's grainy two-color Technicolor, this all-too-short number is — thanks to the Wheeler and Lee enthusiasm and affection — an absolute charmer.

Musicals being pretty much a dead genre (Moulin Rouge not withstanding), it stands to reason there would be few great numbers of recent vintage. In fact, we count only two, and they are both from comedies. First, the exhilirating restaurant sequence "I Say a Little Prayer" from My Best Friend's Wedding and second, Notting Hill's beautifully done "Ain't No Sunshine" tracking shot; a shot that travels not only through space but also through time.

From effects-driven films we first suggest the hypnotic — so like a silent film in its technique — flashback in Karloff's version of The Mummy. Add to that two pre-credit sequences: the brief, jaw-dropping track across Thebes in the recent version of The Mummy, and the equally jaw-dropping pull-back from Earth (that goes on and on...) in Contact.

Finally, from a movie that is nothing but great sequences, we recommend the roulette scene from Casablanca (you remember: the one where Rick lets the refugee couple win enough to buy their exit visas thus revealing he's just a "rank sentimentalist").

Or you might just decide this festival is too much work and end up watching Rick and Ilsa again for the 30th time. That would be a good choice.


Great Title Sequences

Getting together great title sequences is much less work than gathering all those set pieces we recommended above, but you don't end up with a very big festival. More of an "I've got an hour before bed" mini-festival.

First up would be the oldest (both 1936 and both, interestingly, from Universal — they must have had some creative designers on staff then): the parade of paperboard character cutouts carrying credit banners past the camera in Show Boat and the pan past an Art Deco cityscape with flashing neon signs in My Man Godfrey.

From the 1950's and 60's — a real golden age — we have, by the great Saul Bass, the dramatic Spartacus, the vertigo-inducing (what else) Vertigo, and the hilarious It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World. Maurice Binder, the other well-known title designer of the period, contributes the Technicolored spirals and sine waves of Charade, and From Russia With Love. (in fact, with the exception of Dr. No, Binder was designer for all of the non-Brosnan Bonds).

Also recommended from the 1960's are the animated cat that became a star of his own, The Pink Panther, and the stop-motion toy musicians — done quickly and on the cheap when both time and money ran out — of The Music Man.

The crime/action genre provides us with the smooth, horizontal/vertical glide of Bullitt, Speed's descent through an elevator shaft, and the neon-reflected puddles and car windows of Conspiracy Theory (and check out the nifty way they deal with the Warner Bros. logo on that one).

Finally, a pair with nothing in common: the impressive Superman and, returning to a musical motif, the quartet of "Wishin' and Hopin'" bride and attendants (any idea who these women are?) in My Best Friend's Wedding.


The Hidden Fortress Plus

This would be the great Kurosawa western (yes, western) The Hidden Fortress plus the film much inspired — in tone and technique — by Fortress, the George Lucas space opera (some say western and who are we to argue) Star Wars: A New Hope (Episode IV or Episode I depending on how you want to count them).


Holiday Flicks

The holidays make a themed festival especially easy: there are tons of films — both good and bad (some very bad) — set at Christmas. And a few bookend Thanksgiving and New Year's films to add to the mix.

Thanksgiving — a holiday built around overeating, football, and family dysfunction — provides us with What's Cooking? A charming look at four hellish gatherings.

Christmas is the big winner with such traditional (and obvious) choices as The Bishop's Wife, (a family favorite but not with me), A Christmas Story (indeed the best), Holiday Inn (Bing mistreats Fred, Fred mistreats Bing, but all is sorted out in time for the original rendition of the tune "White Christmas"), and Meet Me in St. Louis (the song "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" ensures its inclusion here). More recently there's a slew of romantic comedies set — at least partially — at Christmas: the charming When Harry Met Sally... (really a Christmas and New Year's Eve movie) and the less satisfying but no less holiday-grounded followups Sleepless in Seattle (Meg Ryan again), You've Got Mail (Meg Ryan again again), While You Were Sleeping (Sanda Bullock doing a better Meg Ryan than Meg Ryan), and The Family Man (Nick Cage and Tea Leoni sort of doing William Powell and Myrna Loy trapped in a Christmas fantasy).

Speaking of Mr. Powell and Ms. Loy, the perfect holiday double feature must be — says me anyway — The Thin Man (a Christmas setting) and After the Thin Man (filmed two years later but picking Nick and Nora up at the end of original's train ride in time for New Year's Eve).

To counterbalance all the good cheer and sentiment try adding Lethal Weapon, Die Hard, Die Hard 2, and/or Enemy of the State to your holiday viewing. All are set at Christmas and are — in their own way — very festive.

Again, to counterbalance the good cheer (or the violence) try adding Santa Claus Conquers the Martians and Santa Claus (the classic Mexican version). You must watch the Mystery Science Theater versions for the full effect.

And don't forget to watch Groundhog Day on Groundhog Day.


Hong Kong Cinema

To the uninitiated, Hong Kong cinema must consist only of low budget, badly dubbed — kung fu flicks. While a certain percentage of Hong Kong output fits into the martial arts mold, there is — especially during the golden age of the 1980s and early 1990s — much, much more.

For starters, there are the brutal and gory cop/triad melodramas of the much-imitated (but now-cliched) John Woo: A Better Tomorrow, Hard-Boiled, and The Killer. Another director equally at home in this violent urban genre is Johnny To (The Mission). Less bloody — with martial arts often taking the place of gunplay — are police procedurals. A sterling example is the In the Line of Duty series with five (!) installments so far.

At the other end of the scale can be found the delicate and magical A Chinese Ghost Story and it's two very different but equally interesting sequels (the term "sequels" is used loosely in Hong Kong cinema — often filmmakers seek to leverage a previous success by adopting a title — but not necessarily characters or plot line — and adding a numeral).

If you have not yet experienced Jackie Chan we would recommend, rather than choosing from his more recent mainstream efforts, you select from his 1980s solo work (Project A or his Capra-inspired Miracles) or from films done with his good friend and sometime director Sammo Hung (for energy and good humor, Wheels on Meals — yes, that's really the title — and Dragons Forever can't be beat). Or try Sammo Hung on his own as star and director of the extremely dark and violent war epic Eastern Condors.

Jet Li can be seen to especial advantage in the exhilirating Once Upon a Time in China and it's two sequels (there are actually five in the series but Jet Li is involved only in the first three; making a nice, albeit incomplete, trilogy).

Another worthwhile — but wildly variable — Hong Kong genre is "Chinese Vampires" (very, very different from the Bram Stoker variety). For a prime example, check out Sammo Hung's Encounters of the Spooky Kind.

For Hollywood-style production values, full-throttle story telling, and as a good general introduction to Hong Kong cinema, we highly recommend the Robin Hood-like Iron Monkey, The Storm Riders, the remake of Dragon Inn, and best of all, the absolutely amazing Peking Opera Blues.


Kurt Russell / John Carpenter collaborations

Scorsese may have De Niro, but for sheer cinematic pleasure you can't beat a Carpenter/Russell festival. Our recommendations would include the gritty Escape from New York, the respectful remake of The Thing and, best of all, the delirious fantasy adventure Big Trouble in Little China.

You might want to expand this a bit by including work Russell — that most underrated of actors — has done without Carpenter (Tombstone would be a good choice), and by also tossing in one of Carpenter's lesser-known horror films (like his Lovecraft-influenced In the Mouth of Madness).

A final note for those with DVD: you'll need to watch their films at least twice — once for the film itself and once for the warm, chatty, often-hilarious commentaries.


Mystery Science Theater 3000

If you're a fan of this long-running TV show, odds are you have your favorite episodes (ours would include Outlaw, Girl's Town, Catalina Caper, Mitchell, Manos..., San Francisco International, Warrior of the Lost World, Monster A Go-Go, Operation Double 007, and 12 to the Moon).

Picking favs is always a good plan but you could also try building a festival around one of MST3K's recurring themes: Coleman Francis, Tor Johnson, and Kaiju (Guys in Rubber Suits).

Coleman Francis — arguably the world's worst director — is represented by The Beast of Yucca Flats, The Sky Divers, and the supreme triumph Red Zone Cuba.

Everybody's favorite Swedish actor/wrestler can be seen in Beast of Yucca Flats (Coleman Francis AND Tor!), Bride of the Monster (Ed Wood AND Bela Lugosi AND Tor!), and The Unearthly (John Carradine AND Tor!). Interestingly (or not), Tor plays a character named Lobo in two of these and a nuclear physicist (!) in the other one.

With Kaiju we hit the jackpot: five starring Gamera the atomic turtle (the original plus ... vs. Zigra, ... vs. Gaos, ...vs. Guiron, and ...vs. Barugon), two starring Godzilla (although in ... vs. Megalon, Godzilla spends most of his time traveling from Monster Island), and the English rubber suit epic Gorgo.


Non-Standard Buddy Flicks

What is a buddy movie? Well the "Hollywood playbook" says cast two charismatic actors (or all-too-rarely actresses), make sure they have naturally strong personalities or at least have characters written that way, and provide them plenty of opportunity for conflict. The defining film of the genre — and some might even say the originator of it — could be the original Lethal Weapon with stable family man cop forced to partner with psycho burnout cop. The genre actually goes back a lot further (Gable/Tracy at MGM and Cagney/O'Brien at Warners were routinely cast in such films during the 1930's) and is also more flexible than the "Hollywood playbook" would indicate (The Sting is certainly a buddy picture but here the conflict between characters takes a backseat to the machinery of the con itself).

Which brings us to our trio of non-standard (but still recognizable) buddy flicks: first up is hungover-and-foul-tempered cop Bruce Willis forced to pair up with chip-on-the-shoulder-and-foul-tempered civilian Samuel L. Jackson (it's as if both actors are playing the Mel Gibson part) in the way-over-the-top Die Hard 3. For a change of pace, try Jeff Bridges as the reluctant detective-who'd-rather-be-bowling saddled with his scary gun-crazy bowling partner John Goodman in The Big Lebowski. Finally — and only if you can stand Stallone — try the quite funny Demolition Man with Sly as a piece of thawed beefcake partnering with perky Sandra Bullock.


Once Upon a Time...

The films here are not your traditional "Once upon a time..." tales — they're too grounded in reality for that — but they do all possess a mythic quality found in the best traditional fairy stories.

We can begin — or bookend — our festival with Sergio Leone's greasy, gritty western Once Upon a Time in the West and his generation-spanning crime saga Once Upon a Time in America (is there anything more mythic than Henry Fonda in a western or Robert De Niro in a gangster film?). Western imperial influences in 19th-century China are the dramatic forces behind the Once Upon a Time in China series (five films so far of which we recommend the first three — those starring Jet Li). And finally Lagaan: Once Upon a Time in India, a cricket-match-driven Bollywood musical (with a typical Bollywood running time of around four hours).


Pantheon Action Films

There really isn't any substitute for the lone-hero-against-all-odds explodo that started it all, Die Hard, so it must occupy top spot in this festival (by the way, can anyone explain — certainly the director on the DVD commentary track doesn't — how Bruce's t-shirt changes color so completely after crawling through some vents?).

Not quite fitting the lone hero mold is James Cameron's spooky "bug hunt" Aliens, and certainly Paul Verhoven's similar (well, they both involve huge "bugs") Starship Troopers.

Finally, two that might not be considered pantheon material: the comedic ensemble piece Con Air (anyone who doubts this is a comedy should check out the "curtain call" at the end — everyone individually takes a bow and smiles as if to say "this was a lark, this was fun, hope you enjoyed yourself too"), and Under Siege — yes that's right, a Steven Seagal movie — with it's antagonists actually getting more screen time than the hero.


Really Romantic Comedies

By "really romantic" we don't mean those by-the-numbers teen sex comedies (which as often as not don't have teens, sex, or comedy).

No, "really romantic" when applied to a movie means: it is respectful of the genre; it is well-written, acted, and directed by sympathetic individuals; it is affirming in tone (both along the journey and in the outcome); it treads lightly, doesn't wear out it's welcome, and leaves the viewer — even curmudgeons such as us — with a warm glow.

This is not easily accomplished and, in fact, we count only five successes in the past 13 or so years.

Beginning with the oldest of the bunch, we have Rob Reiner's wonderful When Harry Met Sally... (Meg Ryan before her acting mannerisms congealed). Follow that with the delightful English variants Four Weddings and a Funeral and Notting Hill, (both starring equally-mannered but not tiresome Hugh Grant — perhaps it's the accent?), and the grumpy trapped-in-a-small-town fantasy Groundhog Day. Finally, we have potty-mouthed director Kevin Smith's sexually frank but very sweet Chasing Amy.


The Seven Samurai Plus

Begin with Kurosawa's great western, follow it with the extremely well-done John Sturges remake The Magnificent Seven (Kurosawa admired this version enormously not least of all because it was more successful than his original), and finish up with Roger Corman's cheapjack space version Battle Beyond the Stars (the cast of which includes Magnificent Seven's Robert Vaughn). If watching a Corman flick seems like a bad idea, substitute the other of Steve McQueen's testosterone-soaked blockbusters The Great Escape (again, directed by Sturges).


Wide Screen Films That Look Crap In Pan&Scan

First some background: motion pictures are usually shot 1) open matte (the entire — basically square — frame is exposed and the familiar rectangular image is created by means of a soft matte in the projector), 2) with a hard matte in the camera (this records a rectangular image onto the film and no projector matte is needed), or 3) an anamorphic lense is used (this vertically compresses the image recorded on the film and a corresponding projector lense uncompresses it.

When broadcast on television or transferred to video, movies are often viewed open matte if they were shot that way (no picture information is lost but the viewer sometimes gets a glimpse of boom mikes and even lights — objects meant to be hidden by the projector's soft matte). Films shot with a hard matte or with an anamorphic lense must — due to a supposed bias against "those black bars" — be panned and scanned to "fit" onto the square television screen. It goes without saying that with pan and scan — one aspect of which is electronically "panning" back and forth between elements on opposite sides of a wide frame — the most severe damage is done to image composition and to the director's original vision.

That stated, here are a selection of wide screen movies which make use of the entire frame and which, under no circumstances, should be viewed panned and scanned (the filming process used is in parens following each title): The Music Man (Technirama), It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World (Ultra Panavision), Manhattan (Panavision), Die Hard (Panavision), 2001: A Space Odyssey (Super Panavision), Oklahoma! (Todd-AO), The Longest Day (Cinemascope) and Star Trek IV (Panavision).

As an added bonus, the DVDs of both Die Hard and Star Trek IV include short pieces on letterboxing. These might be a good starting point for your festival if you detect some hostility towards "those black bars."





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